Don't Know What is Wrong With Me Lately

Lately I really haven't been myself but instead I've been in a sort of angry mood. I've been in a weird mood and I'm not so thrilled about it. The past couple of days I've been pissy towards my fiance and a bit snappy at work. Could it be premarital jitters? Am I flipping out? I don't know. All I know is that I don't like it. I've been trying to pinpoint what the cause of this funkiness is and have yet to find it. As you can tell from the time of my posts, I have been having trouble sleeping. Since I know that my fiance reads my blogs daily, I need to say this to her...I'm sorry, I was wrong, will you forgive me?

I think part of the problem is that I really haven't had time to decompress from work and daily stuff. I'm so used to vegging out after work for 30 minutes of alone time or sleeping in and doing nothing on Saturdays but watch cartoons and cooking shows. Maybe it's stress of getting ready for the wedding or the life changes of being a husband. I really don't know. All I know is that I want to get back into being my old self. Maybe it's the diet cokes I've been drinking. They say that aspartame does stuff to your brain. I guess I better stop drinking that stuff and go back to drinking lots of water and ice tea. Now that I think about it, it seems the two kind of coincides. I know in the past that it did cause some memory problems for me. I have no scientific evidence but it seems that my current problems started while consuming diet cokes. I didn't start drinking diet drinks until a few weeks ago and now I got this going on. Maybe it is a coincidence. Who knows. It's not that I'm trying to put the blame on my attitude on something else. I know that I'm responsible for my own actions. Thus my appologies to those that I have offended.

I think I just need to mellow out. I really don't know what's going on with me. I know that things will get better and not worse since I'm praying about it and dealing with it. I really feel bad the way I've acted towards my fiance. She's such a wonderful woman that I truly love and cherish. Man, I feel like a heel! I'm normally a pretty easy going guy with a few quirks but lately I've just been moody. This is killing me! Picked a wrong time to quit sniffing glue!